Montis

 

Montis 50 x 65 cm gouache/dispersion colour/oil pastel on paper by Karin Goeppert

YOU HAVE TO WIN IN ORDER TO LOSE

The hero’s about ready to ford a

knee-deep stream—but just before he    

gets wet an annoying crone all bent and ugly

and with a voice that would make nails on a chalkboard

sound like an aria by Maria Callas

doesn’t ask but insists that he piggy back her  

across along with his magic sword and enchanted

jock strap which, at a pivotal point in the story,

he will convert into a sling, load a stone in the strap’s

roomy pouch, slay a monster blocking the mouth of a cave

in whose dark and dank reaches antiquity’s equivalent

of a Victoria’s Secrets model will be waiting between a

rock and hard place to be rescued by this young stud

who’s scheduled to take back his ailing father’s kingdom

from disloyal and exceedingly nasty army officers, etc.

most of which has been brought to you by the annoying crone

who on the other side of the stream turns into a

dazzling god or goddess who says how fortunate you are

young fellow for you have passed the test and

here, take this magic ring, put it on the finger of Selina

captive in the monster’s cave, for later she will bear you three children

one of whom will marry a real estate mogul from New York

with designs on your throne—go with your instincts,

kid, which, as we know, will get you every time.