KALI IN
SUBURBIA
I adore
afternoons that feel like a lazy saxophone
solo, it’s
hot, we’re all eating shrimp. A fat uncle
smoking a Cuban
cigar, everything’s great
till
someone says Have you heard the one about…
Live
dangerously is my motto.
I love stumbling
giddy and
laughing out my
lover’s
backdoor, half naked,
headlights
illuminating family portraits.
You feel uneasy
with me at times, don’t you?
That’s
because I destroy evil in all its
guises. I can
smell it the way you can smell
pheromones,
opportunity, a whiff of high quality weed
coming from
your child’s untidy bedroom.
If you
really knew me you wouldn’t
want me
standing like a pile of toxic
debris in a
corner of your cocktail party.
But what
you don’t know is that I would
be a
perfect maid-of-honor or witness at
your Vegas
wedding, posting everything on Instagram.
Still, you don’t
know me, not really, or yourself,
or how much
your frat boy brat was drinking
before he slipped
out with the car keys
that evening
that ended so badly.